I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak!!!!

Yup, it's been far too long and so much has happened it's like old news already.  I wanted to post details of the wedding along with pics, but didn't get to that... I promise I will.

I wanted to blog about our awesome honeymoon, but again, didn't get around to it.

I wanted to ring in the new year with updates on married life and such... and again, you guessed it.  Didn't happen.

So why didn't I do any of these things?  And why have I not blogged in over 7 months?  Hold on to your britches because I have HUGE news.

I am............................. PREGNANT!!!!!

Yes, baby number 4 is on HIS way and due in late August/early September.  And no, this was not our 'plan'.  As you already know, we have three beautiful, awesome children and we were, for all intense and purposes, DONE, DONE, done!  Well, God had other plans.

So this might be a long blog post as I am going to try to condense literally 7 months worth of stuff into one post.  Let me start from the top.

See, we went on honeymoon after all my family left.  I couldn't wait to go.  I needed a break from the kids, the house and just everything.  Plus, we just had gotten married and I wanted to feel like a newlywed.... what better way to celebrate the start of a marriage than with a honeymoon.  Well, that will be the honeymoon to remember for sure. I'll have to remember to blog about it in detail another day.

After coming home, things slowly started getting back to normal.  I packed up the wedding stuff and got my house back to it's natural state (after 12 or so people staying here, it was a mess).  Then I got some bad news (my older son, P, had to repeat 6th grade).  And then bam, hubby was out of a job.  He found one quickly though, thank heavens. Christmas came and went and I was looking forward to the new year.  I had such big plans.  I was going to work from home again and look into starting a wedding planning business on the side.  I was excited for 2013.  And then I missed my period.  I NEVER miss my period.  it's not always "on time", but I never miss it..... UNLESS I am pregnant.  And I know this from previous experience (3 times).

I was in denial though.  I figured maybe delayed wedding stress caused me to miss it (I was way too relaxed as a bride during planning).  So I waited until January before freaking out.  Well, there was no denying the fact when I started getting sick.  I always get sick with my pregnancies.  And when I say sick, I mean morning sickness all day and night sick.  I still tried to think that maybe something else was wrong though, as I just could not believe it.

Well, I won't go into the sordid details, as I am trying to get over that, but I was not a happy camper when the real reality of my pregnancy finally sunk in.  I became VERY sad, some might even say 'depressed'.  I was in bed and sick and sad for literally 4 entire months.  I would have days I would just cry out of pure sadness.

I was dreading the whole process of being pregnant (after all, I had worked so hard to get my body back after back to back pregnancies 5 years prior).  I was dreading the whole idea of having to start all over again with a newborn: sleepless nights, poopy diapers, the crying, the expense, the potty training, ugh!  I was just one big mess and everyone was worried about me.  I finally started to pull myself out of my funk, slowly.  And by around the 5th month mark, I was feeling better (not only was the morning sickness abating, but my mind was clearing as well).

I started to think positive and about all the joys of having another baby.  The more I thought about the positive, the better I felt.  I decided to focus on the good and forget the bad so I started daydreaming about baby and planning for baby.

First thing I had to figure out was where to PUT the baby.  We have a small house.  We already have 3 kids occupying 3 bedrooms.  I really didn't want any of the kids to have to share.  Then the idea hit.  As small as our house is (well, it's modest, maybe not so small), we still had 2 'extra' rooms we could put to other usage: we had the office and the toy/play room.

I didn't want to use the toy room as a nursery.  It just wouldn't work BUT the office would be perfect. The more I thought about the baby having his own little nursery, the more excited I got about things I could buy to fill it.  I wasn't going to go crazy or anything: it is our 4th baby, so I am not that gung-ho about decor and crap like that.  But with a room of his own, I could put a few small details to make it his.

I had some days where I felt better than others, energy wise.  But as soon as I felt well enough, I got to work.  First, I got my house back into shape (being sick for so long, I kind of neglected a lot of stuff.)  I organized the toy-room, then cleaned out the office and put the stuff from the office into the toy-room, essentially making it an all purpose room.  I did leave the computer and desk in the now former office however for very good reasons: first, there is no place else to put the computer as the office has the modem and internet.  Second, the playroom has no plugs.  It works for now.  We barely use the office as an office anymore anyway (long story with the computer).  Plus, babies are so tiny, they don't need much space.

The computer desk has use as storage for a few baby items that serve as decoration right now until baby comes, like a few soft books and toys and his shoes.  That was the big benefit of cleaning out the toy-room.  I found a few stuffed animals and baby toys that will be perfect for baby once he comes.  I even went through my kids stuff and found blankets and some clothes from when my little JC was a baby.

We've also been shopping for baby stuff, trying to stockpile a few items before the baby gets here.  Sad to say, but we gave everything away after I was sure I was done having kids.  All the cool items I had with Princess and JC are all gone.  The crib, the swing, the highchair, the bouncy chair, bathtub, pack and play, etc.... all gone to good homes.  So we have to start from scratch.  I did get lots of baby clothes from hubby's cousin, who just had a baby 5 months ago and even my mother in law bought some cute stuff.  Now with my mind in the right place, I can get excited about this baby and enjoy the pregnancy (although to be honest, this pregnancy is a b!tch...everything hurts).  But I can deal.

I feel like I've covered a ton... or tried to.  And before this blog gets too winded and LONG, I'll just say that I'll be blogging more often now that I feel a ton better (and now that we have use of my mother in laws laptop).  It'll be a lot of baby blogging as I did with the wedding when I was wedding planning.  But at least you don't have to read about my pregnancy for 9 whole months... only 2 left to go.  And with that, I bid adieu until the very near future.