The #MomLife

I've been thinking.  I've been thinking a lot about my life. I've been thinking a lot about how much I love my life even though there is so much I still would love to do and so much more that I know I can do.  But I am content.  I am happy.  I am very much the epitome of living the dream.  I am living my dream as a stay at home.  Welcome to the hashtag momlife.

When I was a kid, all I wanted to be was a mom.  I wanted to be home with my kids, taking care of the house, my husband and my family. I wanted that perfect mom life.  However, once I got to high school, being a mom was something that never really occupied my thoughts.  I wanted more than what life had to offer me at the time.  I wanted it all.  I even thought that kids weren't in my immediate future and toyed with the idea of waiting until I was 40 to become a mom.  Then I met my husband.

After I met hubby, my entire mindset changed and I was once again that little girl playing pretend mommy with her pretend husband and pretend babies.  I was a mom and it was all I wanted to be.  I wanted to have his babies and I wanted to have them now, not at 40.  Oh, and I was just 18 years old at the time.

True to form, I got what I wanted and we started our family soon after becoming an official couple. We loved each other and still do and wasted no time playing house.  I did graduate high school and even went on to community college, where I graduated with honors.  But I still just wanted to be a mom.

It used to be shameful, when people asked me what I did , to say "oh, I stay home with the kids, and ..." I always felt the need to explain myself and all I actually did as a stay at home mom.  Did people look at me differently?  Maybe.  After all, if they knew me back in high school they would remember the overachieving honor student who was a go-getter and did it all, from being class president to the captain of the cheerleading team.  I was unstoppable and I was going places.  I was going to succeed.  But instead, I became a stay at home mom. It wasn't until I became a working mom in a sea of stay at home moms that I actually felt inadequate. The grass is always greener, right? I needed to be satisfied with my decision and know that whatever I chose to do,work or stay home,that it was more than enough. That I was more than enough and my family would love me regardless.

After moving to Costa Rica, I knew exactly what I wanted, everyone else be damned. I was going to stay home and raise my kids the way I wanted to raise them.  I was going to be a stay at home mom.  Bring on the mommlife.  And I have to say, 13 years later, I am still loving my life.  Things get tough some days, finances get tight most months and arguments are inevitable.  But we've been at this thing so long, we've finally found a rythm that works for us as a family.  I love my life, I appreciate my role as a mom and the world is still my oyster.  I can do anything and be anything and thankfully I am still young enough to know this.