Monday, July 15, 2013

Normal Worries and Some Not So Normal Fears

Can I just admit how nervous I actually am to have a newborn baby in the house.  It feels like forever ago since that was the case for us. I kind of feel like I have no clue what to do with the baby once he gets here. I worry about the normal things of course, like what if he's an unusually fussy baby and cries all the time (like my 1st son did).  But I also worry about some not so normal things as well.

This morning reminded me just how full my plate already is and to bring a newborn baby into the mix is going to take a lot of work.  I already have three kids (THREE), two of whom are still very dependent on their mommy.  Yes, I am very blessed to have independent kids for the most part but at 6 and almost 5 years old, there is only so much they can do by themselves, which means I have to step in and lend a large helping hand.

For instance, the whole getting ready for school in the mornings is a hands on task for my daughter.  Getting her breakfast, getting her ready, making her snack, etc. And then making sure that my younger son is up and ready for the day.  Next year all 3 will be in school and I'll be busy getting 2 kids ready instead of one.

Well my day started very early today and I am still feeling the effects of lack of sleep, something I know I'll have to get used to sooner rather than later.  I went to bed around 10 pm and was up to pee at 1:30.  It was a restless night as baby A was not happy with me sleeping on either my left or right side... he would kick me hard enough for me to change position to one to his liking. Knowing I am not supposed to sleep on my back for fear of the baby not getting enough oxygen, ironically enough that is one of the only positions where I feel comfortable and baby A seems to like. After my pee session, I was up again at 3:45 to make hubby breakfast and lunch before he headed off to work t 4:15.  I had an hour or so left before the kids had to get up and start getting ready for school so I went back to bed to try and relax.  Well just before 5 am, Princess came into my room complaining of ear pain, which got progressively worse as the day worn on.  I gave her some ear drop medicine and had her in bed with me for most of the morning.  I felt so bad for her but there was not much I could to to alleviate her pain no matter how much she begged me to help her.  I just had to wait for the ear medicine to kick in and do its job.  Finally, she started feeling better right before lunchtime and I was able to try and take a nap.  However, the lack of sleep for so many hours left me disoriented.

How am I to take care of a crying newborn and sick kids?  This I worry about.  Kids get sick and lately my Princess has been getting sick a lot.  Over school break, she got a stomach bug and a fever and a nasty cold.  How am I to tend to a sick child and give them my all while also trying to give my all to an infant as well?  This really scares me. Although I have to say, it can't be as bad as when I had JC.  I mean Princess was still a baby when I had him and yet, it all worked out. The first 2 years were hard but it was also fun.  I managed to care for a toddler and a baby and things turned out fine.  But I still worry.

I have to also admit that poop scares me.  I have been dealing with it for years.  I have dealt with explosive diapers where the poop has crept up the back of the baby, soiling all their clothes (what the hell is a diaper for anyway?)  I have dealt with runny poop and weird looking poop and just poop of all kind.  I want to be done with poop.  Also, what if this baby is not a self soother and uses my boob not only to feed but to soothe.  I would hate to have a baby attached to my breasts constantly.  Also, what if this baby hates sleep?  Some babies seem to fight even the thought of sleep and I hope this baby is not like that.  As much as we all know that having a newborn comes with sleepless nights, there are some babies that take to a sleep routine much faster than others.  Will I be able to train this baby to do just become a good sleeper, great nurser, cry little to never at all and not have explosive diapers?  We shall see.

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