I Can't Do This

I just can't go on like this for much longer. I am about to lose it, if I haven't lost it already.

My life is essentially perfect. I have everything I could possibly need: a house to call my own, healthy, happy, well rounded kids and my health, plus a good Hubby who works hard to provide for his family.

I even have a few luxuries: a dream yard, a kid in a good private school and a dream job (as a stay at home mom). What more could I want? Well, more.

I NEED A BREAK!!! From life, from this house, from my kids (yes, on occasion those well adjusted, happy kids can drive me bonkers) and some time for just me, myself and I.

And I don't mean the 45 minutes I take each morning to go running or power walking. While it is ME time, and time well spent on making myself a healthier mommy, it's not enough time for me. I need to get away, get re-energized so I can come back to my life and long list of (mommy) obligations revved up and ready to go.

I cannot continue on this lonely road of single parenting while I have a Hubby. It is exhausting. Tonight, for example, I have a massive headache that is more than just weather contributed (it was HOT today and the heat wipes me out and sometimes leaves my head throbbing). Long after it cooled down, my head was just a jumbled mess of neurons bouncing from brain cell to brain cell, leaving my head feeling like someone was in there kicking around a soccer ball.

With a laundry list long of to-do 'stuff' to get done everyday on top of trying to find ME time within the day, I feel myself feeling drained, burnt out, at the end of my rope and taking it out on the people I love the most: my children.

So I guess another day break is in order. And all I want to take with me is myself. Here's to hoping that day comes VERY soon.