Why Is It

Why is it that whenever people here ask me where I'm from, I automatically say "Estados Unidos" (United States)?

I am Jamaican, proud to be, born and raised. BUT I was also raised in Boston (USA) as well. Do I identify more with Americans? Many people would say yes, since I hardly speak 'patois' (The Jamaican dialect), I have VERY few Jamaican friends and I am so far removed from my Jamaican culture and heritage it's like I am a joke, a poser. The fact is, I know more about the USA, it's history and culture than I remember about my own native motherland.

Yes, like most everyone, I love almost everything Jamaican. I love reggae and roots music. I love spicy Jerk chicken and just about all typical Jamaican cuisine (how can you not, Jamaicans can cook). I love the dance hall nightlife (at least watching it anyway). I love the country itself... it's beautiful. And I love the people. (I won't get into all the things I DON'T like or what's wrong with the country where I was born.... that's for another post).

Yes, I love being 'Jamaiquina", but I don't usually tell strangers that I am Jamaican when they ask me where I'm from. It's just so much simpler to tell them that I am American, which is technically true. It is my second home and I have considered it home for many years, something I haven't considered Jamaica to be for a long time.

My older son is American, born in Boston. Most of my closest family live in the States. And the fact is I AM AN AMERICAN CITIZEN. Which, in essence, makes me an American.

So when people ask me where I am from, I tell the simpler of 2 truths: The United States. After all, it's where I came from when I moved here, right?

I mean, how do I explain to people that I have never met before and will most likely NEVER meet again, that "I am Jamaican born and raised but also raised in the States, where I am also an American citizen, which makes me an American and so it's where my home is?" How do I say all of that in Spanish?

I'm better off just telling them that I am from Boston, which is the truth. But then, why do I feel slightly guilty afterwards, like I'm shunning my Jamaican heritage by not telling them the full truth. I mean, I don't owe these people any explanations, but how much better would it be if they knew the true me? I guess they already have their own assumptions about where I'm from until they hear me speak, then their curiosity peaks. It's just easier telling the half of the truth: I am American: I celebrate the 4th of July and Thanksgiving. My kids are all, or will one day be, American citizens, and it is the country I spent my tween and most of adult life. It's my second home but more like my real home than Jamaica. And so when you ask me where I am from, if I don't know you, you'll get my automated answer. I am from The States and damn proud baby.