I love To Talk

In case you haven't noticed how long winded I am (look at how much I write), I LOVE to talk. I can talk for hours. My uncle used to call me motor mouth because I would talk non-stop. He told me I should be a lawyer because I talked so much.

Back in school, public speaking was my thing. While most people are terrified to speak in public in front of a lot of people, I look forward to it. I relish in the attention... all eyes on me. I feel so important because everyone is listening to what I have to say. No wonder I won the class presidency twice. I have a voice on me too... when I speak people are sure to listen. Even as I delivered my salutatorian address on graduation day, as long as it was, not a single person stirred as I spoke. It was my last 'hurrah' and I wanted to go out with a bang.

Talking should be my speciality. I can talk another person's ear off. And beware, I can debate you to your grave too. I use to look forward to my doctor visits because I loved all the questions they asked. I got a chance to focus on me and talk for a bit. Even therapy was fun. Are you kidding... someone who gets paid to listen to me talk about myself... heaven!!!!!

So it's no wonder my Princess loves to talk too. Boy does she think the world revolves around her. Just her her mama. When I was little, I loved to entertain guests. While my shy sister would hang off to the side, slinking away from the spotlight, I grabbed it by it's neck and shone it directly on me. I would 'flirt' with the company and on cue, like some damn monkey, I would even dance, showing off my skills. There's a picture of me dancing, and I remember that day like it was yesterday.... the picture makes me smile.

So, was I just starved for attention... you know that whole 'middle child syndrome"? Did I crave it so bad, I felt I was nothing if I wasn't the center of everyone's universe? I aimed to please as a child, and although it sometimes sickens me to think of all I did just to get into people's good graces, I remember how much I loved being adored. I wanted to be the favorite. So I was ever present... and always with my mouth open. Look at me, listen to me, love me. Poor me!

I have calmed down a bit since then. Do I still search for fame where I can be front stage and center? Sometimes. Before I settled on my passion to write, I wanted to be a broadcast journalist. What better profession for someone who loves to talk and loves the spotlight. Maybe one day, I'll dabble a bit on tv, who knows.

I love to blab away. It's me, it's what I do. But I like to think it's not as bad as it was when I was a bit younger and more naive. I am not in high school anymore. I am a woman now. An adult (that word scares me). So I am more subdued. I can handle taking a back seat now, where as before, it was difficult. And I know (well I like to think I know) when to shut up.