Living La Single Life...

Well, not really. I do feel like I am a single mom though, most of the time.

I have true respect for single moms out there. To have to get up everyday and be the only one to have to do it all... my hats off to you. I am getting just a small taste of that life, and it is hard.

Hubby is working non-stop it seems. Even on his days off, he is working. He's constantly busy, doing something, this, that or the other. And he just never stops. He is the energizer bunny, he just keeps going. As time goes by, he seems to get busier. The kids can sometimes go a whole day with out seeing their dad and sometimes that irks me.

I am glad my kids get to grow up in a two parent household... and not just any two parent household. A loving one. Yes, we fight and in front of the kids *oops*. Sometimes it gets loud, knock out and drag down *gasp*. But we love each other and the kids feel that and they see it too. We're not perfect, but we try and we give them the best we can, which is a lot.

But lately, hubby has not been home that much and I can tell the kids miss him. This past weekend he was not home at all... he picked Boobie up from swim practice and had to take him back to work with him. Then he slept over at the 'apartment'. The next day, Saturday, they headed 3 and a half hours away for some father/son bonding, while hubby fit in some extra work hours. I was home alone, with Fatty and Princess.

Why does my hubby work so much? Well, he's doing a million things and he's got a million things going on. He has a full time job that he works Monday to Friday plus a side job. He's starting up a company and that takes time. I don't have to tell you that running a business is a lot of work. But the time that goes into that business in the beginning is a lot, at first... you have to put in the time to reap the rewards and the benefits are usually a long time coming. So he works and he works hard to ensure our future. He has become a work-a-holic. However, he's working alot now so he won't have to work alot later.

A typical day for hubby starts at 5 in the morning, 5:30 if he's feeling a little tired. He's usually out the door by 6... before the kids are up for the day. On a good day, he's home at 7 pm. On a busy day he won't get home until well after 9; some days the kids are already in bed by then. Boobie can go a whole week sometimes and not see his dad, since his bedtime is at 7:30. If he's lucky, he might see his dad in the morning just before he leaves for work.

I take it in stride for the most part, but there are days I get frustrated. I need a break too occasionally, but it's hard when hubby works crazy hours. So I am left taking care of everything, kids included. I have to remind myself, on the days that he's not home, that he's working for us.

Lucky for me, as much as I feel like a single mom at times, I am not and so if I really need him home, he's there. Lately not so much, as he gets closer to his dream of realizing his new business, but he tries to be home as much as possible. He tries to set aside family time at least one day a week... some weeks that doesn't happen , but for the most part, we spend as much time as we can before his life gets hectic again.

I know it's alot of pressure on him, as the sole breadwinner... the sole provider. Everything financial rests on his shoulders. I can just imagine that stress. So I try to give him some lee-way. If he needs to blow off steam every now again with some 'hang' time with his friends before he gets home to face the chaos, I give him that time. But my life is also stressful and I need my 'hang' time too.

I am the sole caregiver most days, the only one the kids can run to to kiss an "aye ay ay" or hug away fear or tickle away the grumpies. I am the one who gets breakfast, gives baths, changes diapers, cuts nails, combs hair, brushes teeth, scrubs markers from elbows and knees and lips, etc, etc, etc. I can sometimes feel overwhelmed. But I deal better with stuff pertaining to the home, while hubby deals better with our finances. That man can turn a dollar into $50. So we play our roles and we play them well. Then we try to meet somewhere in the middle.

Living a single mom life is just not for me. I prefer to have my partner there even if he's not 'here'. I think knowing hubby will be home eventually keeps me going. Not saying I can't do the 'mom' thing without him. Just saying I don't want to. And to all the single moms who do it everyday and do it so well, *applause* you deserve an award.