A Bruised Heart... part 1

Mina glanced at her face in the mirror. It was almost unrecognizable. A tear rolled down her swollen cheek and she didn't even dare try and stop it. Her lip was bloody and busted at the corner. Just under her right eye, at the very tip of her cheek bone was bruised an ugly purple and reddish blue color. The finger marks around her neck made her look as if someone was still grabbing her there.

She brought her finger up to her lip and flinched at the touch. Her ribs hurt. Her arms hurt. She thought she might have broken a bone. Not this time though. She was good enough to stand, at which point she did and grabbed a T-shirt draped across her foot stool next to her bed. It was already damp with cold water. She used it to put a little pressure on her eye, which was practically swollen shut.

She decided not to leave the house today after all. Markus made sure of it. Mina was too vain. No amount of concealer was going to cover up the damage to her face. Markus knew this. Her over sized dark glasses was not big enough either. Over the years she's collected things to help hide what Markus had done to her: dark shades, just big enough to have their own zip codes. Scarves to wrap around her neck or head. And a vast collection of makeups, concealers, eye liners, lipsticks, to blend in with the bruises or cover them all together.

It was another stupid fight. She blamed herself (of course). She had provoked him. But she had no idea he would take it this far. She didn't want to place the blame totally on his shoulders though. What was she thinking. She walked slowly over to the bathroom vanity and turned on the faucet. She let the water run for a while before wetting the shirt again. Her nice Victoria Secret shirt was ripped. Well, there's goes another $30 dollars, she sighed. Maybe she should stop wearing such nice clothes. So far this year (and it was still early), she had lost 6 shirts. A few pants and a nice skirt. Some were too bloodied to salvage, others ruined by tears too ugly to patch.

She slowly took of the shirt, it was one of her favorites (they all were, really), and tossed it in the waste basket by the vanity. She walked over to her closet and grabbed an over sized T-shirt from her dresser she sometimes wore to go jogging. That would do. She had a shit load of work to do and she'd better get it done before Markus came back.

He'd left after their fight, as always, to cool down. He had explained to her, in so many words when he left, that he didn't want to come back to a "shit hole".

"Please have this place cleaned up Min", he'd sounded like he was pleading. His tone had changed from that of a wild beast to man in need. She felt bad. If she hadn't fought back, maybe she wouldn't have broken that antique Chinese vase his great aunt had given them for their 1st year anniversary. Maybe if she hadn't run away she wouldn't have toppled over the end table in the living room and broken their brand new lamp, almost $100 at Best Goods.

The wall plaster was his fault though, and he would have to fix that. And the photo frames were his fault too. OK, a few were hers. After all, she'd thrown a couple of them at him, one of them was a wedding photo. It had clashed into the wall behind him and smashed into pieces, wood and all. That frame was from Antiques and Things. Her best friend Alex had gotten it for her. She had went there a couple of days after receiving the frame to browse in the store and to spend her $150 gift card she got from her sister. She'd spotted the frame: $60! For a frame. Oh well, she'll have to replace the frame from the Dollar General for $5.

She still felt a pain in her side from where Markus's boot came in contact with her ribs. She'd heard a crack and thought he'd finally broken a bone, but when she got up, the pain that shot through her passed fairly quickly. Now there was a dull throbbing pain there.

As a matter of fact, her whole body ached from the ordeal, which lasted all of 10 minutes, maybe.

What had happened? She'd cooked a nice meal. It was Saturday, and she'd gone to the grocery store to pick up a few things for the dinner she'd had planned. She wanted the meal to be extra special because she was about to tell Markus she'd planned a girls night out with her girl-friends (the few she had left). There would be 5 of them in total. All friends she's had for ages, except Kelsy, who was a newbie. Someone she worked with and had known for about 5 months. But they'd become close, and Markus trusted her because of all Mina's friends, she was the only married gal.

Mina had had close to 15 really good girlfriends. But over the years some had moved away, due to family or careers. A few had lost touch with her, mainly because of Markus. They suspected 'something' was up and they didn't approve of him or his antics. As one good friend had told her once, "Markus is a pretty face hiding a terrible self".

Mina guessed because he'd had a few outbursts, embarrassed her a few times in front of them, that he was a bad guy. They didn't want to put up with him, so they stopped 'putting' up with Mina.

While at the grocers, she'd picked up a pork roast. Markus loved pork. She would slow roast it in the oven for a few hours with a few carrots and celery stalks, onions, garlic, parsley, thyme, onion powder, cream of onion soup and some tomato paste.

She picked up some russet potatoes that she would drizzle with olive oil and salt and oregano and roast in the oven alongside the pork roast.

She also selected a package of diced squash that she would mash with garlic and salt and a little butter. She figured too, that with the leftover lettuce and tomatoes and cucumbers she had int he fridge, she's whip up a quick salad. As she headed towards the checkout, she stopped by the bakery and picked up a chocolate tart. She liked baking, but with all she had to do that evening, she didn't think she'd have the time. Plus Markus loved chocolate.

Markus had to work so she had had the whole day by herself. He liked a clean house, so she spiffed and polished and swept and dusted. It was funny to her and to most of her friends that Markus insisted that she work (so as to keep herself busy) but also expected her to fulfill all the duties of a typical house wife.

"What does Markus do when he's home?', Alex had asked her one afternoon as they strolled the downtown shops on her lunch break. Alex was a life long friend, known Mina since they were 3.

"Well," Mina was trying to not sound too sarcastic. "He watches TV".

Alex laughed, that loud guttural laugh she does. "You serious ain't you girl".

Mina nodded, a wry smile on her lips. Alex glanced at her watch. "Anyway I'll get up with you soon, gotta run back to the office and finish this damn project nobody else seems to know how to do but me." She rolled her eyes, then leaned in to kiss Mina on the cheek, give her a quick hug and then sped off in a cloud of Chanel number 5.

Mina loved Alex, envied her at times. Alex was single mother. She had 2 kids, boys. But she was so carefree. So alive. So set. Mina wanted that. Of all her girlfriends, Alex was her closest friend, her confidant. But Mina dared not tell Alex the truth about Markus. Alex was protective of Mina and she feared Alex would try and kill him.

It was around 6 and Markus was due home in about 30 minutes. Mina figured she'd take that last half hour to finish getting herself ready. She'd sped up the stairs two at a time and rushed into the bathroom. She washed her face and brushed her teeth. She sprayed some VS body spray on her neck, arms and in her hair for good measure. Then she pulled her VS v-neck teal shirt out of her closet and pulled it on. A quick puffing of her hair and she headed to the full length mirror to give herself a once over.

That would do, she thought. Although Mina was a pretty girl, it really just ended there. She wasn't as exotic looking as Melody, who got mistaken for Selma Hyack all the time. She didn't have long ass legs like Alex, who was told her whole life to be model. Her hair wasn't glossy thick and beautiful like Kelsey's, who looked like she'd just got done shooting one of those hair commercials. And she didn't have the flawless skin and long ballerina neck like Iesha, who everyone thought was 10 years younger than she actually was.

Mina was just pretty. She had smooth skin, but not flawless. She had a nice body, but her stomach could stand be flatter, her thighs a little thinner, her ass a little bigger.

Her hair was super curly. Downright frizzy on a humid day. Her eyes were clear as glass, a green marble color. Her eyes, she thought, were her best feature. Even Alex, with her big dark brown eyes, always told Mina how she envied hers.

She hurried back downstairs and headed for the kitchen. With the last few minutes to spear, she opened a bottle of red wine and poured a glass for Markus, leaving it on the counter top. She downed hers in 4 seconds flat, wiped up the dribble from her lips and washed out the glass, placing it carefully in the dish rack.

She smoothed her jeans out, somehow it felt tighter than usual today. She'd have to hit the gym too on Monday, she made a mental note. She over did it yesterday at the Frances' Bar-B-Que. Oh well, she thought. One day out of seven ain't bad. I can give myself a break.

She heard Markus's car pull into the driveway and remembered that she had forgotten to pull hers out earlier.

Shit, she thought. She's gonna have to bug him to move it so she could leave. They needed a wider driveway. She was tired of the pulling out and in bullshit.

Markus walked in the door. He looked tired. Working 6 days a week was exhausting. But in his line of work, Saturdays ended up being his busy day.

"Something smells good", he cooed. He reached her in a few steps and planted a kiss on her thick full lips.

"Ugh, why you got lipstick on", he was wiping off his mouth. He gave a once over and noticed she was nicely dressed.

"Where you been", he asked, heading to the kitchen. She followed.

"Not 'where I been', but where am I going". She handed him his wine glass and he guzzled it and held it out for more. She went to pour him another glass.

"Nah, Min, baby, I'm tired tonight, OK."

"I know, not me and you going, but me and the girls gonna have a night out. You know it was Melody's birthday last week but since she was out of town, we're celebrating tonight." She pushed past him to the oven and pulled out the roast, setting it on the island.

A scowl came across his face. She hated when he scowled. He looked ugly. And Markus was fine. Scowling distorted his face; gave him to many winkles.

She remembered when she first saw Markus. She was just about fresh out of college and had gone to one of those mandatory workshops for soon to be graduating seniors where they tried to counsel you on how to find a job, what markets were good, life after college, etc.

He was sitting a few rows across from her and she noticed he was staring. She blushed and smiled. After the workshop, he had approached her while she was talking to a few of her soon to be former classmates. They'd talked for hours that day, exchanging phone numbers and talking again for hours that night.

He was a transfer. But he was graduating too. She'd never noticed him on campus before. Well, he'd said, it was a big campus. She had to agree. And they both laughed. He asked her out and she accepted.

She had to pinch herself that night before going to bed. As fine as he was; tall, lean and well muscled like a track star, she couldn't believe he was interested in her. He had caramel colored skin and eyes the color of toffee. His wavy hair was cut short. His smile was wide and bright. He had perfect teeth, a result, as she found out later, of 4 years of braces.

Their first date was magical. He's taken her to a little hole in wall soul food restaurant. She didn't remember what she'd ordered as she barely ate. But he had ordered a huge plate of fried catfish, collared greens, corn bread, fried green okras and rice. he polished his plate off. How in the hell did he eat so much, she wondered and stay so fit?

They shut the restaurant down but weren't ready to call it a night just yet. He escorted her to a little cafe near campus, one she had frequented as well. They stayed there talking until 3 am over cappuccino and scones, blueberry tarts and muffins. She was on cloud 10 when he walked her back to her dorm room and kissed her passionately on the lips for 10 seconds (she had counted as she didn't want the kiss to end) before bidding her a good night. She watched him walk away and only went inside once his frame had disappeared from view. It was the perfect first date.

"... is such a good idea tonight" she heard Markus saying. She snapped herself back. Daydreaming about the early days was no good.

She took a long loud sigh. "It's just a couple of hours, Mark and I made dinner that we can eat together before I go." She gestured to the roast and the potatoes that she'd placed beside them. "The rest of the food is on the dining room table" she said, "in the chafing dish."

"I don't give a fuck what you made, I'm saying right now you can't go... it's not a good night tonight alright." His voice had changed. It was gruff, demanding. Uncompromising. From her years with Markus and her experience with is moods, she should have just dropped the issue. But she continued. She deserved this night out. She worked 5 days a week in an office, 7 days a week in the house.

""We're not even going far," she continued. "Be fair, Mark."

He slammed his hand on the counter. Hard. It was granite and she felt it shake from where she was standing and leaning on it.

"Min, call your little girlfriends, who have nothing better to do, and tell them you can't make it, not tonight. Maybe next week. End of story". He walked off towards the living room. "Now look, I done lost my damn appetite."

"Mark, please", she was close to tears. She felt like a 16 year old begging her parents for a later curfew or permission to go to a school dance. "Please, Mark..." her voice trailed off and she took a few seconds to compose herself.

"Listen, Kelsey is going and even her husband gave her his blessing. He's a nice guy, not as controlling as you and...."

She didn't get to finish her sentence. For Markus, her comparison to someone else's husband, like he wasn't good enough, was the last straw. He took his fist and punched her square in the face. Mina lost her balance and fell back, tripping over her legs and falling to the floor. She hit herd head on the coffee table.

Markus didn't give her time to recover. He lunged towards her and pulled her up by her throat, snarling. Mina was terrified.

"I... can't... brea... Mar... le... guh...." she was trying to talk, but the words wouldn't come out.

"You wanna marry Kelsey's man, huh?". He punched her again in the eye. She struggled against his blows, he wouldn't stop. She finally wiggled away. She got as far as the mantle and as he rushed towards her she picked up the closest thing she could get her hands on, a photo frame, and hurled it at him. The first one cracked him in the head. That pissed him off more. She ran, not fast enough and her grabbed her by her hair and whirled her around.

Throwing her to the floor, his face dark and sinister, he kicked her a few times before she scrambled away on her hands and knees. The last kick came in contact with the wall, where he kicked off a piece of the paint and plaster. She heard him yell out in pain and frustration. She didn't want to remember anymore . Or she couldn't. Her brain was tired.

All she knew was it was the worst beating she'd gotten form Markus. Maybe he was making up for how long they'd been in a honey moon period, seeing that the last time he'd even raised a hand to her was maybe 3 months ago.

The last time they'd fought, Markus had gotten mad because a friend from her college days had called, a guy. He didn't like it, he'd told her. Men had no business calling other men's wives, unless they were looking for the husband. She'd told him that was stupid, that Kym was married, with kids and lived hundreds of miles of away. That he was acting jealous for no reason and for him o get a grip. That caused him to spin out of control. She'd gotten a fat lip that time and a few blows to the head.

He'd come back late that night and apologized, crying that he didn't mean it. That he didn't want her to leave him. That he was an asshole and he was going to try and change, for her sake. He'd brought her her favorites, pink roses and a box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates. He'd also made love to her that night like he'd never done before. It was amazing. She'd cum 3 times.

In all the years they'd known each other and been married; dated for 2 years, married for 3, Markus had only barley hit her. Well barely as in, never to the point he did tonight. Once when they were dating, he'd pushed her and threatened to kick her ass.

Right after the wedding, literally 5 minutes after the ceremony while they were en route to the reception, he'd slapped her in the face because she'd called his sister fat and laughed.

In the 3 years they'd been married he'd hit her maybe a total of 8 times. A few times nothing serious. Other times, she'd gotten a bloody nose, or lip or a shiner.

But he always came back and apologized. And after the 'I'm sorry', he'd be good for a while. She wondered sometimes if he was sick, like mentally. Sometimes he didn't remember the fight or even hitting her, even though she had the bruises to prove it. Many times he'd come back and blame her and beg her to not provoke him. That he loved her but she was difficult and all he wanted to do was love her and she made it hard. She'd accepted that fact.

Over the years, he'd grown more and more controlling. He'd stopped her from hanging out with men. He limited her outings with her friends and didn't like anyone who wasn't married or in a serious relationship. He started telling her what outfits were appropriate to wear and which were off limits, unless she was with him.

He was like two different people: The Markus she fell in love with and married and the one friends loved and got along great with and the hidden Markus that no on but she knew.

She wasn't sure which was his true side. She didn't know how she could not have noticed how he really was when they were dating. Or maybe she did.

The first time he actually hit her, she brushed it off but it had frightened her. She didn't know who to talk to so she'd called his mother. If anyone knew Markus, it would be her. Maybe she could talk to him.

But his mother made it worse. She'd asked Mina what she'd done. When Mina told her, his mother went on the defensive.

"Well, Mina, what would you expect. He's very protective of his sister. I am sure he didn't mean nothing by it. Just apologize, be good from now on and things will be alright, OK Baby". Mina never called his mother again. Except on occasions when she had to.

The downstairs was a disaster and she was tired. But she got to work. Straightening up, picking up broken wood and glass. Sweeping up what she could in the dust pan . Putting things back in their place. The pictures that were left homeless she placed on the mantle until she could get to the store to find them replacement homes. The phone had rung 8 times while she was cleaning up. She knew who it was even though they never left a message. Her girlfriends. Probably still out having a blast without her.

After the fight, she had immediately called Melody and told a her a bullshit story of not feeling well.

"I think I'm getting my period", she lied, "these craps are killing me."

If there was any acceptable excuse for canceling on your girlfriends, especially on a night you had planned, it would have to period cramps. Every woman knows how much that pain can knock you out. Almost as bad as labor. Melody said she understood and would drink a few margaritas for her.

Sh glanced at the humongous clock above the fireplace with it's Roman looking numerals. It was almost 10. They were probably calling to check in on her.

At 10:15 Alex called.

"Girl I hope it's cramps you've got and you're not blowing us off for some mind blowing sex with that hot ass hubby of yours... she could hear them giggling in the background. They were wasted.

"Anyway," Alex continued "We missed you a lot tonight. Feel better." There was a long pause and then the background got quiet. "Listen" Alex whispered, " I'll come and check on you tomorrow OK. I hope you're really OK." She stressed the really as if she knew what was up. Then she gave a few kisses into the phone and hung up.

Mina knew she was going to have to make sure she wasn't home tomorrow when Alex came to visit. She didn't know how she would explain away all the bruises, the lip, the finger prints around her neck (which looked even redder and uglier now.)

This was not a black eye that she could cover up. No more excuses about how clumsy she was, falling down the stairs, getting hit in the eye from a ball at her nephews softball practice or the like. She was running out of excuses and the last thing she needed was for people to know what she knew all along. That her husband beat her up and that there was nothing she could do about it.