Small Sizes... Does It Matter ?

You know, my little Princess has small, dainty feet. I consider them small anyway, in correlation to her height, since she's supposedly 'tall' for her age (and thin... she got them good genes).

Anyway, looking at her feet reminded me of all my years in school when I use to wish for smaller feet. I always thought I had big feet, when in retrospect, I had 'normal' sized feet for my height. Not too big and not too small. But I was busy eye-ing up the shorter girls with their tiny little dainty looking feet... feet that made every pair of shoe they wore look so much better on them. Plus, shoes in smaller sizes tend to look so much cuter than their bigger sized counterparts. Look at wedges in a size 6 and then compare it to a size 9... huh? I'm right aren't I?

I can laugh at wanting smaller feet now. For years I was a size 7 (6.5 in some shoes). I finally realized just how lucky I was... most of my friends were a size 8, pushing 9 and even 10. Yeah, among them, I was the one with dainty little feet. Once I was able to curb my foot obsession and get it under some kind of control, another size issue presented itself. The older I got, the more fascinated I became with boobs. My own and other people's. I noticed the difference and I realized that I just didn't stack up with some of the other girls. Even to this day, I still compare myself to other ample chested women and my inner green monster feels inadequate.

When I was in middle school, a class mate pointed out the fact of my too small chest, that I barely had boobs to suck on... where as, another classmate of mine was about triple in size compared to me. Next to her, with her double D knockers, I looked like a boy. I felt self conscious from that day on, but it didn't really bother me too much to scar me for life. I had to tell myself that one day I would grow (I read the book 'Are you there God, it's me Margaret' by Judy Bloom). Besides, my well endowed classmate was about 2 times my size (in body) so I brushed it off. Once I got a little older, the boobs would come.

If you've read my other blog post about this breast issue, you'll know that the boobs never, in fact, 'came'. But I wonder, what is my obsession with size. Does size really matter? Well, for me, I guess it does.

After 3 kids, my feet went up a whole size. Just about all my size 7's are a touch too tight. The new shoes Hubby bought me for my birthday are a size 8, and so are the sandals I bought for myself a few weeks back. Yes, I want my dainty perfect size 7 (sometimes 6.5) feet back.

As for the boob issue... I am so obsessed with my size I have begun stuffing my bra... something pre-teen girls do. I am a grown woman who stuffs her bra so I can look fuller up top and not so smallish. Yes, insert a *snicker* here.

I remember too, when my height was even an issue (and somewhat still is). Though unlike most girls who wished to be taller and supermodel like, I wished I was shorter, and more pixie like (you know, to go with my wishful smaller, more dainty looking feet.) I have 'average sized girl' syndrome... something I think I acquired being surrounded by so many short people in school.... and am surrounded by still in Costa Rica. I am 5 feet almost 4 inches... average but tall compared to the 5 ft nothing girls I come across.

So do I have a size issue... you bet your ass I do. But I have to say... as a mother, I am more content with what my body can do than what it looks like (for the most part).

So I have a size issue and since I can't do anything about the size of my feet, my height or my boobs, I don't let it consume me. Instead I focus on the sizes I can change... the growing size of my massive thighs, my huge ass and ever expanding stomach. Yeah, those need to shrink smaller in size and I have started to so something about it... it's called exercise and it works wonders.

Instead of obsessing about the sizes I can't change, I've turned my (positive) attention to the sizes that I can. Here's to a size 5 pair of jeans by next summer. Now at least that's not wishful thinking. And at least that's a size I can live with.